Chocolate Almond Butter

Last week I killed my food processor that I had for about 10 years. It was sad, but life goes on.
I considered hiring a ninja to replace the deceased kitchen tool.
Think about it for a moment, a ninja - in addition to mixing, chopping, blending and grating food - could be sent on missions to track down secrets, have enemies assassinated or plant misinformation. SIK.
But then I thought: wait, where would I “store” a ninja?
I couldn’t possibly leave him on the countertop or on a shelf (talking about crowding up your kitchen, right?)
Not to mention that I would need to feed him. And what does a ninja eat, say, for breakfast?
Moreover, what if he’s one of those people that wakes up super cranky in the morning. I certainly don’t want an angry ninja walking around my apt at 7am chopping my furniture.
Nah, too much of an hassle and not really a good idea after all.

Sunny-Side Up Egg with Avocado, Sriracha and Crumbled Feta

Cooking is a feel-good activity for me. I feel happy, comforted even inspired when I cook.
But just like everybody else, I’m sometimes (oh hell...let’s say “often”) too tired or don't have the time to cook.
Especially at dinner time, after a long day, when I get home all I want to do is relax.
Even I, the triathlete dude that steps into the kitchen and transforms into a culinary Bruce Lee (yup people, that’s how I see myself) waves white flag.

Easy Pad Thai Zoodles

I like it when you spot a recipe that you know is going to be fantastic and you just happen to have the ingredients on hand.
But what I like even more is when you have ingredients you want to use in a new way, and you spot a recipe that can be cut to fit what’s on hand.
There it was.
The perfect recipe.
Pad Thai Zoodles.
Exactly what I felt like eating. I wanted to jump up and high five someone.

But there was no one there. No matter. There would be by the time I finished cooking.

Makeover Time!

Guys, can I get a WOOT WOOT?
I honestly think I deserve it.
Sooooo new look. BAM! TheIronYou got a complete makeover, just like that.

Easy Creamy Crock-Pot Coconut Curry Chicken

See that right there?
That's today's lunch, and last night's dinner, and yesterday’s lunch and it’s going to be tonight’s dinner too.
That’s just the way it is.

Ultimate Sesame Coconut Chicken Fingers with Minty Yogurt Dip

Let’s be honest, sometimes being a dude blogger is tough.
The blogosphere is pretty much run by girls, moms, women.
Which is not a bad thing, at all. In fact, it is a very good thing, making the blogging world a kinder, more amiable place.
But there are certain topics - important to us, men - that are kinda off-limits in the blogosphere.
Such as consuming ridiculous amounts of cheap swill, farting in a crowded elevator, world’s loudest belcher, top drinking games, et cetera, et cetera. [Yes women of the world, though we look mature, we still think/act like kiddos — we haven’t grown up a bit!]
At the same time, we can’t talk about sparkles, rainbows, unicorns and glitter and expect to be taken seriously. We don’t have the knowledge to do it. Plus, we will subject ourselves to public humiliation and private doubt.

Easy Ginger, Chili and Lemon Salmon

Okay, yes, we’ve all heard about how good fish oil is for us: it promotes joints and heart health, improves the brain and memory, and reduces inflammation.
We also know that it's important to eat at least two servings of seafood a week as part of a balanced diet — because taking fish oil capsules is not the same as eating the real thing.
But we’ve also got to be considerate of the fact that we’re not alone in this world, and that by bringing to the office (or other professional setting) something that smells like a Port-A-John on a hot summer day, we can seriously damage workplace productivity and our reputation too.
I, for instance, had this co-worker once who insisted on bringing and microwaving fish that smelled like it was marinated in cat food.
The kitchen was centrally located, so it ensured that the entire office would smell like a fishing dock in 90° heat.
No one ever complained to him about it, because technically he wasn’t doing anything wrong. We just resented him and plotted for revenge. He was also referred to as the “effin fish guy!”

Hasselback Zucchini with Garlic Thyme Butter and Parmesan

So...hasselback zucchini (also known as accordion zucchini): why hasn’t anyone told me about this delicious dish before?
More precisely, why haven't YOU told me about it?
I’m aware that withholding information is not lying, but the purpose and the effect are the same, and it’s not cool, at all.
Even though I live on the saying “Forgive and Forget” and that I’m not good at holding grudges, I will hold a grudge and I will not forgive or forget this.
I’m actually so enraged, I still haven’t made up my mind yet whether to give you the recipe or not.
I need more time to think about it.
For the moment enjoy the pictures; because that's the only thing you're getting from me.

Cauliflower Noodle Lasagna

Guys, I think I’ve peaked at this cauliflower crust thing.
I’ve made pizza, calzone, pizzettes, tortillas to use for an enchilada, garlic breadsticks, stromboli, grilled cheese, bechamel, panini, bagels and today noodles to use for lasagna.
And with that, the well of my creativity has officially run dry.
In a way it’s very freeing because I know it’s going to be all downhill from here.
I don’t have to think anymore about how to turn cauliflower into pizza dough, bread, tortillas or noodles.
I’m going to spend the rest of my life really chill and from now when I see a cauliflower head I’ll just say “I peaked. Wow. What a great run!”
Ha!

(Paleo) Almond-Berry Tartlets

As much as I love fall, I'm not ready to let summer go yet.
I've been noticing some leaves changing in the park, but I'm trying to ignore them and pretend I don't see them.
I think I’ve said “I can’t believe it’s September already” a million times over the last couple of days.
I’ve even cracked the joke “Wake me up when September ends” a dozen times or more, and it just isn’t funny anymore.
The dark evenings are approaching with dread but I’m not ready to go into hibernation mode.
People, what happened to sitting out in the bright until 9pm?