Almond Flaxseed Yogurt "Granola" Bars

Energy bars, granola bars, breakfast bars, protein bars, the grocery store aisles are full of them.
However, the majority tastes like artificial flavoring (ugh, fake chocolate and PB!), chalk, and misery.
Plus, they all have a way of “looking” healthy no matter their chemical/y flavor profiles and suspect textures.
To be honest, it’s actually pretty rare to find energy bars that are healthy AND tasty.
I, for instance, like Larabars. Each one has between 2 and 9 ingredients, all of which are whole organic foods like fruits and nuts.
Okay, I suppose the few with chocolate aren't "whole" foods in the strict sense (there must be some processing going on there), but here's the thing about Larabars: they actually taste pretty good.
Like fruits and nuts (except the lemon bar; I had it once and it really grossed me out.)
Oh yeah, because - and you probably already know this - I only eat things that taste awesome. I am not interested in bland, gross energy bars. Not worth it.
(Just to be clear, I haven’t received any money nor products to review from Larabars. I just like ‘em so much, I thought you should know!

Turkey Zucchini Burgers with Lemon Yogurt Sauce

I try not to whine too much. Honestly.
While I am writing this post, my legs hurt like hell from doing intervals very fast last night.
I’m actually sitting with straights legs, because they seem to cramp if I keep them bent for more than 1 minute.
But I am well aware that it is my own fault.
I shouldn’t have done intervals, but wanted to because...well...since I’ve promised you guys that I was not going to bore you with my training running mis-adventures, let’s just say that I shouldn’t have done intervals. Period.
Still, I made my choice. I’m an adult, I know what can happen when I overtrain.
There are no accidents to report around here. No whining possible.

(Hand Cut) Crispy Baked Sweet Potato Shoestring Fries

There are some things I’ll just never be able to grasp. Like physics. Or how the trashcan fills up so fast. Or where all my socks go.
For real folks, I have 18 unpaired socks.
And I’m sorry for them. Being a sock isn’t easy already (especially MY socks). But being an unpaired sock is even worse. Forced to make their own solitary way in a world of pairs.
A beautiful love story of Left + Right that started out in a factory faraway, and that ends in separation.
I held the dryer responsible for all these losses.
Because sometimes socks get lost before and after they go into the laundry, but most of the time it seems like the dryer ate them for a snack.
If you ask around, you'll find that pretty much everybody shares my suspicion for the dryer — evil machine.
Or maybe between the washing machine and the dryer, they run way. There's probably a huge black market in runaway single socks somewhere. Who knows...
Anyways, I have 18 unpaired socks, and I’m holding onto them in hopes that their twins will return from the space wrap before I do my annual sock purge.

Beef A La Sichuan (Low Carb & Gluten-Free)

Apparently all of the food blogosphere is going Cinco de Mayo.
Tacos, burritos, nachos, enchiladas, tostadas, pico de gallo, margaritas, horchatas, you name it.
I mean, take a look at my lad Chris over at Shared Appetite; he’s going berserk over it (in a good way, of course!)
He’s been posting the most amazing Mexican-themed food ever lately. Head over there and be ready to salivate!
But I - being the rebel that I am - refuse to participate in this charade because....well, just because I haven’t cooked any Mexican food in the past few weeks. That’s pretty much it.
I actually CAN’T be part of this Cinco de Mayo bonanza, because I wasn’t smart and organized enough to plan around it. My loss.
So, no Mexican for me.
But I made some tasty Chinese-inspired food though if you’re interested.

High-Protein Zucchini Parmesan

You guys. This is good, like really good. Amazing even!
We’re talking Parmigiana here.
It’s no secret that I’m an eggplant parm kind of guy.
Just like Aristotheles “Give me an eggplant, tomato sauce and Parmesan cheese and I will move the earth!”
OK, not really, but I can certainly make you some badass + low-calorie eggplant parm or some pretty darn tasting roasted eggplant and tomato gratin.
If you’re generous enough and offer me some quinoa, then I can whip you up even a yummy eggplant parm quinoa casserole.
Neat-o.

3-Ingredient Crunchy Strawberry Ice-Cream

One of the things I’ve learned since I started this blog is that NOT everyone’s got a microwave, a blender, a juicer, a slow cooker or an ice-cream maker.
Personally I own all of those kitchen appliances/gadgets, but you probably have a washer-dryer in your apt; I don’t...hence, you win, I lose.
Let me explain...in the City That Never Sleeps the real luxury, the one item that can make all your friends green with envy, the thing that pierces the fantasy of entitlement is owning a washer-dryer.
Like it’s yours and it’s right there, in your apt.
There’s no more descending to the depths of the basement laundry room. Or worst, walking a couple of blocks to a sad laundromat, where (notwithstanding what you see on commercials) there’s never a Victoria’s Secret model waiting for you, stripping to her underwear, throwing her dirty clothes in the washing machine and then hitting on you.
Never happened, never will.
So you fill the washer-dryer void with many kitchen gadgets, and you convince yourself that owning an ice-cream maker is way cooler and 100 times more useful.
Because you know, sometimes it's okay to lie to yourself.

Eggs Baked In Avocado Boats

I first saw this concept on Pinterest a couple of months ago. Since then I haven’t been able to get the image of a baked egg in an avocado boat out of my mind.
Are you big fan of Pinterest? I certainly am. It’s like the greatest place ever on the internet to find inspiration. Although it’s undeniably ruled by women.
According to my friend Denise, girls like Pinterest because they’re so desperate to get away from Facebook.
She says that for girls Facebook isn’t so much of a social network, it’s more of a tool you use to show how much further ahead in life than your friends.
Such as posting when you get a new job, complaining about how stressed you are about your job, taking pictures of your engagement ring, showing that your lunch consists of only 2 lettuce leaves and a dry tomato, posting pictures your mom took of you giving birth (which I’ve just found out you’re not supposed to comment, ever) and posting 400 pictures of that one time you went out in the last four months.
Not the guys are any better; the only reason we use Facebook is to repost things we’ve found on Reddit so that we can look witty, smart and generally badass. Or ranting about sports/politics.
That’s pretty much it.

Chicken Piccata (Low Carb & Gluten-Free)

How many movies do you have on your Netflix queue?
Seriously.
I just checked mine and I have exactly 153.
I guess it will take me about 10 years to catch up on it.
Unless I take a month off from work, veg in bed and binge on movies.
Something that sounds pretty cool, but that I already know will probably drive me mental after the third day.
The funny thing about my Netflix queue is that it’s completely random.
It includes everything from classic sitcoms, 21st century classics, action movies, horror movies chick flicks (?), kid cartoons such as “Dora the Explorer” (??) and even the One Direction's movie — which can either mean that Niece found out my Netflix’s password or that I logged in into my account when I was completely wasted.
For real though, there’s no logic behind that list of movies, at all.
It’s like a 1-year old was left in front of my laptop for an hour and kept on clicking the mousepad. Random.

3-Ingredient (Dairy-Free) Cocoa Mousse

I had a really bad dream two nights ago, more like a nightmare.
I was riding the subway, I had no iPad, iPod, Kindle, book, magazine or even newspaper with me and I sat across from a woman who kept staring at me.
I didn’t want to make eye contact, so I kept looking at the floor. But for some reason (dreams are always weird) I was eventually forced to meet her eyes and she started talking to me.
We had like the most weird conversation ever, which seemed to never end.
Let me tell you, I woke up drenched in sweat and scared as hell.
I mean, engaging in friendly chit-chat on public transportation?
That’s something we just don’t do around here.
I’m sorry, we’re from the City, we are not trusting people!
Okay, okay...I’m exaggerating a tad, but I honestly don’t think I ever said anything, let alone had a conversation to anyone on the subway (who wasn't a friend/acquaintance).

Cauliflower Crust Stromboli

This is me showing you that cauliflower crust is dope.
Dope as in awesome and nasty as in “Yah brah thats sik!”
Shaka sign dope and awesome and sik. Got it?
Because there’s really no end to what you (and I) can do with cauli crust. Like really.
Pizza, calzone, pizzettes, hot pockets, garlic breadsticks and today Stromboli.